Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
