I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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