But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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