So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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