I think my vagina is haunted
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
