it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
