Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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