No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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