its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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