My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
