i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
