Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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