these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
