Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
