I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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