I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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