shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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