just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
