Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
