so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
