Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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