I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
