To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
