CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
