Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
