I cannot find my penis.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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