Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
