Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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