I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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