why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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