Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
