the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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