More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm always down for nudity.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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