Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
