I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
