i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
