WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
