yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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