Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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