Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
