all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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