your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
