i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
