just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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