I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Small penises have feelings too.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
