We named our party play list daddy issues
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
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He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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