with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
