I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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