you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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