At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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