You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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