I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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