My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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