Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
