brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
