Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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