I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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