I could have mohawked her pubes.
only if we run a train.
done.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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