One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize