meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
