Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
