My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
