ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.