these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is