Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly