And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
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Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child