I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
