The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize